guest room

27Jun10

So, if you haven’t heard…

We’re moving.

In six months we will be leaving our home of the past decade and seeking out a new home, a new neighborhood, a new beginning.  The five of us will be traveling into new territory and testing our ability to trust and depend on one another.  Good news? Sure.  I think change is always good.

But, that doesn’t mean it also isn’t scary as shit.

I am not scared for or about myself.  I have great faith in my ability to adapt, to connect to others, to create a home.  I know that the transition will be difficult and that it will test the limits of my patience.  But, I need this.

More importantly, my kids need this.  I love that they are Carolina Girls.  I love that they take with them whisperings of a southern accent.  I love that Wilmington is the place that they were born.  But, I also love that they are embarking on an adventure that will hopefully (if they are guided accordingly) allow them to appreciate each other and themselves more.  They are going to learn about self-reliance and the bonds of sisterhood as they delve into new schools and find themselves strangers, unsure of where they may fit in.  I hope that they will learn to enjoy one another more while adapting and looking for the friends that are waiting to be found.  I pray that this transition may strengthen them as we are forced to work together to create our new home; that they come away stronger and awestruck at all that they are able to accomplish.  All of this will help them to appreciate the relationships in their lives; it will help them to maintain, cultivate and cherish those friendships that have and will continue to influence the women they are becoming.

And, yes – Trevor needs this.  He has needed this for a long time but he has resisted for us, waiting for the time that we were ready.  His fears that the girls will be traumatized and that I will be devastated without my “hood” are just that, fears, not truths. His worries about housing and cost of living, while relevant, are unnecessary.  We will be together.  We will find someplace to live that gives us what we need – room to grow as a family – and as long as it is together, the square footage won’t matter (someone remind me of this often).

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that one should “always do what you are afraid to do.”  I am not afraid of the move; I am scared that I won’t fulfill the needs of my family in executing the move.  I am afraid that I won’t find the right house.  In the right community.  At the right time.  I am afraid of starting too soon and waiting too long.  I am scared to start thinking, looking, dreaming…

Idyllic moves are just that – idyllic.  Our picturesque journeys never happen like we hope but we continue to hope that we’ll make them happen.  The adventure of it all is exciting and the unknown ultimately creates security and trust – we come to this from chaos.

One thing is certain, we’ll be together – scared and unsure searching for a future that promises novelty and love (sun, surf and seventy degrees are a sure thing too.)

There will be a guest room.

San Diego anyone?

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10 Responses to “guest room”

  1. 1 Sylvia

    Well, I’m glad at least to know we have a few more months with you all here. I would love for us to spend some time together before you leave;, ok? I’m sure the time will go by more quickly than you expect, with all the preparations to be made. Know that you can count on me for whatever help you need. San Diego is not hard for me to get to, so I expect we’ll see each other Cali. It’s not that far from LA and I’m there as often as I can during the year to be with Elena. Amy, you’ve been such an important part of our (my!) community. I love the person that you are: sweet, pragmatic, funny, honest… I could go on. I will miss having you across the “big” street.

  2. 2 Kelly

    The more I get to know you (both by interacting with you and reading your blog), the more I want to live in the midst of your lingering spirit. Literally.

  3. 3 Lynne Sanderson

    Having been part of a military family when I was growing up, we moved often and to many different houses and states. My younger brother and sister and I can still talk for hours about the places we have been and seen, but throughout it all, I remain close to both of them, because they were the “constant” in my life. You all will do just fine and your adventures will only grow. I did live in SD for 3 months (in the early 70’s), I must tell you I have never seen a zoo to compare with the one I saw there. I’m preparing for the next move and chapter in my life also, and I want to thank you for such a positive attitude, it has helped me align my thinking …. 🙂

  4. 4 Beth

    Sounds like that room will need reservations way in advance!

  5. 5 Rebecca

    My brother and his wife and 2 little girls just moved out to CA too – you will take to it like a duck to water. They will love you guys out there! And I seem to remember a call with you about it a few years ago – you’d “heard” that this might just be the case, and I’m happy to see that it’s coming true!

  6. 6 Jenise Murray

    When you register the girls for school, check to see if the county needs school-based PTs please.

  7. 7 Lauri

    As a mom, you should know that it isn’t the shit that is scary, its the lack of shit that causes concern. You’ve already proven to be ready to lead this adventure. And I’m booking my tickets to SD soon.

  8. Amy,

    we have jsut recntly moved to Philadelphia…talk about scary. The city is big, the milk is expensive, our house is small, and the grass is sparse…but we are making it and we are ok. I have made new friends and we have scoured the web for great family stuff. I lived in SD for 4 years before I moved to the East and I loved it. You will do great!

    BTW I’m enrolled in the Bradely Inst class in Nov and am totally excited, thanks for being such a great teacher!

    becky♥

  9. 9 Jennifer

    You are one of the bravest people I know, truly. I find myself continually amazed by the person you are, (the mother, wife, sister & friend). They say that friends come into your life for all different reasons, you have made me want to be accomplish things, to be better than I am and I wanted to thank you. I for one will miss you and hope to take advantage of your guest room! I know your girls will embrace the adventure, how could they not just look at their incredible parents! You both are their home, no matter where your house is.

  10. 10 Erik

    Believe me, I’ve been trying 🙂


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