catch up

16May10

To be fair, there is no way for me to talk about my present without looking back and I know I said I wasn’t going to do this, but, I have to catch up –

To start with, there have been innumerable events that have cropped up in the girl’s world: recitals, dance performances, races, Muffins with Mom, a birthday, EOG preparation, etc… I want to be in all places at all times but I can’t.  It is hard to make amends with this inadequacy and without Trevor here to fall back on, I have been stuck.  The most difficult of these moments was Muffins with Mom; I needed a clone, a stand-in to be with Fia.  I could not be present in two schools for the same event at the same time.  Graciously, Fia recognized that I did need to be with Evie and was excited at the opportunity to share her morning with someone “special” ~ and, so, after a week of deliberation, Fia walked next door to ask Mrs. Michelle, who accepted without hesitation.

I spent the morning teary; sad that I was missing something with one, guilty that I was so grateful to be able to attend with the other, fearful that Fia would be upset with me later.  But, what I later learned was that I should have worried about the food.  Fia and Evie were both delighted with their special mornings, they couldn’t have been more proud to have a “mom” with them.  However, they were both very vocal about the miniscule size and limited amount of muffins they were served – of course, I should have known.

Lesson learned: pack extra food even for events that revolve around food.  Michelle, thank you.

The mom’s morning was in celebration of Mother’s Day – which is marked in our house by some activity that is orchestrated by Trevor.  Without him being here, I was a little sad (OK, I was terribly sad).  But, despite the fact that my phone didn’t ring all day, I spent a fabulous morning with my oldest and dearest friend. I was treated to a delicious brunch, had gorgeous flowers and jewelry delivered to my door, embarked on a bike ride and shared a steak dinner with friends.

Lesson learned: leave Mother’s Day in the hands of your mom friends and you will be celebrated.  Catherine, David, Jenise, Lauri, Cleve, Michelle, Keith, Page, Jeff, Kim, John, Meg, Dave (and the sixteen children shared between all of you), thank you for not leaving me alone and ensuring that the day was memorable.

Which brings me to the past week of playing catch up with my life.  Although it was gratifying to arrive at the end of each day knowing that I had almost crossed everything off my “to do” list, it was terrifying to go to bed with the list for the next day seemingly insurmountable.

Interestingly, quickly writing about these two events was on my list and every day I rewrote the task anew.  I was persistent in my belief that I would have time to write and, finally created this window of opportunity (FYI – the DVR is recording the season finale of Brother’s and Sisters so do not tell me the ending!)  I can now cross it off and not worry about the carryover into tomorrow, a tomorrow  already full of have to’s, need to’s, want to’s and if I have time I am going to’s…

Lesson learned: the writing of and inability to cross off everything from my to do list is what motivates and inspires me to write another.  Every task is a challenge, every completed task a triumph, every unfinished task a humbling reminder that I need to catch up.

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